“Meat is for pussies, and diets are for jerk-offs”. Cro-Mags frontman John Joseph delivers a cracking, slightly sweary how-to on juices and smoothies for Vice’s new food channel, Munchies. The rocker, who is the author of book ‘Meat is for Pussies’ (that I need in my life immediately) continues to help veganism and vegetarianism shake off silly stereotypes. His straight-up narrative gives us the benefits of juicing – raw. This ain’t no Sally-Smoothie-Queen look at juicing, this is juicing for the hardnuts – or simply, for us who like things without the fluff.
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I’m slowly transitioning to more of a plant-based diet, I’m good mates with my old juicer; my trusty Jack LaLanne that we’ve had in the house before juicing was trendy. Like way before – so before that Jack LaLanne is actually dead now and his juicers aren’t in production any longer. However, as juicing and smoothie-making is super in Vogue right now so it seems like everywhere I turn, and every time I flick open my instagram feed, somebody’s got the blender going. Often without doing any research into WHY they’re juicing – or what they should be juicing.
John addresses that – pointedly cussing about people doing 21-day juice fasts (after doing a 7-day fast – the maximum I’d do – I can confirm that 21 days is just insanity. After 14 days tops it starts to switch gears from healthy to unhealthy).
He shows how to make a juice from chards, beetroot tops, spinach and celery – the last two are apparently the ‘porno-stars’ trick to replenishing after an umm…busy shift. He switches gears to smoothies, showing superfoods like maca and turmeric, and speaks of the benefits of using good quality protein powder (rather than that gross whey stuff that is terrible for you). He also calls someone’s (hypothetical) grandma a bitch. Yeah. Errr… let’s learn how drink our greens with John Joseph.