It was inevitable that I’d go back to a sad poem; it’s pretty much just the circle of life right? There’s never a good time without a bad time leading up to it or a horrible time straight after it; it not only makes us stronger, but also allows us to be less naïve in the future, prepares us for the hardships that always comes.
This poem is not only for the guy who stirred the words from me; but it’s for the people who take and take and take and expect not to give anything in return. It’s for the people who drain you from your soul and expect your heart to remain whole; it’s for the people who take you for granted and expect you to be there when they’re ready for your time again.
With a dirty spoon,
You scrape my insides and
Dump them in your coffee cup.
Careless with my carefree attitude,
Down the drain it goes.
Lungs lie, left to your left.
You tie my arteries with my veins and
Give them to rich children to use as a skipping rope;
Leaving the poor kids with my filthy blood as substitution for water.
My kidney died a long time ago,
Crushed by my childlike cruelty as I drank poison that was openly disguised as a great night out.
My liver never lived, lonely by the pit of my pit,
I never even tried to get to know her.
But bit by bit,
You remove the me from my body,
Never thinking about my uterus as any type of compensation;
Undervalued and unappreciated she was.
I left stains of selfish men on her walls and
Wished she possessed powers to make them stay a little longer;
How dare she not make them stay longer for a little.
Scream at my lack of the very vital organ you scream, search and seek for.
Part muscle, all love;
One heart, one mind, one soul.
You wonder where it is, why it’s gone and when it went.
Don’t play naïve, this isn’t the first time I’ve been noticeably naked.
It’s with the guy before you,
Maybe three times removed.
And for a long time now, I’ve been filled with ice-cold ice cream.
Feel free to take a simple serving scoop of me
But just one scoop
-It’s all I can give.
It’s all I have.
It’s for the friends that forgot you when you were down and don’t know how bring back your spirit. It’s for the friend that didn’t want your advice because they didn’t want to hear the truth; leaving you cold and unused like a broken tape player. It’s for the person who told you to be you but rejects the very you they encouraged.
At twenty-one I know I’ve experienced a lot. Maybe not as bad as half the people in the world, maybe not as horrific as the person next to me; but also something only I could deal with. This poem symbolizes some of the hardships I’ve had to overcome with the family I’ll never leave, the friends who take me for granted, and the lover who remains just a lover; this poem somewhat defines what I have created within me to get me through times that I wouldn’t wish on my best enemy or my worst friend.
I used Ice Cream as a filling in me because it’s something that eventually melts – so while my body keeps it cool – ready to substitute my existent when somebody purposely hurts me – [hopefully] eventually, I’ll warm up to life and it’ll melt away. Then my soul and my heart can return to its rightful place.